Freedom, as they say, is not something we are given automatically. It must be demanded and people do have to fight for it. We don’t even have to think about the big politics to be sure it’s right. In our everyday private life, we make hundreds of small decisions.
They can either free us or put us into something we don’t want, often just to satisfy or please other people. Mainly because we don’t have enough energy or courage to resist, or simply because we want to be accepted at all costs.
I believe that, in this respect, each of us willingly, and many times unconsciously, give up part of our own freedom. If it happens occasionally, can be nearly harmless. But the more often we ignore our own desires and instincts and don’t do what feels right for us, the less free and authentic we become. What appears is the faded, unhappy and dependent version of ourselves.
I’m talking about really small things now, often ridiculously insignificant. Like refusing to eat more, when your auntie insists that you should. And refuse five times, if it’s necessary. Visit the place, where you want to go so badly, even though it means you get separated from your friends’ group for a while, on your joint trip. Or maybe you defend someone or something publicly, although it means you get judged. You tell your family and acquaintances you have no intention to settle down. You repeat that when you meet them again, after three months, six months, two years without the feeling, that something’s wrong with you. There are countless situations like that. They give us the opportunity to react politely, but freely, or do what we think, can make things, you know…easier.
Respect is an essential part of freedom. If we want to be respected, we should respect others’ decisions and desires, too, unless they harm anyone. It means, don’t push them into anything they don’t want to do. We can tell them our opinion, if they ask for it. We can join them in their journey, or we can go our own way. Those are the options, when we are free. Therefore, our freedom doesn’t depend on anyone else, but ourselves.
Kindness. I’ve read about so many great visionaries, creative people, taken as tough and not exactly easy to handle. All of them created or achieved something revolutionary and remarkable. Now, imagine what the person starting to do things absolutely different way from how it was usual for a long time, has to go through, in order to implement their vision. Think about Antoni Gaudí, Coco Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent, Zaha Hadid or many others. Their beautiful creations are the expression of their inner freedom. They often started from nothing, they were formed in difficult circumstances, taken as freaks by others. Of course, they built some sort of the protective wall around themselves. But, in the circle of close friends, they were proven as kind and loving people. There is also enough evidence that they were usually generous and caring in many ways. The rule is, be kind till the point where you should give up yourself. But when it’s necessary, use your claws.
I was inspired to all such thoughts by the jewellery, that talented designer Alexa K gave to me. It’s a collection of the high-end jewellery, featuring the beautiful wolf art. It was created with an intention to encourage women to embrace their archaic feminine nature. The talisman really reminds me the need to unswervingly develop my own wolf spirit. The spirit, defined by three major qualities – Intelligence, Integrity and Independence. That is all we need, to keep ourselves free, every day.
© Creative direction and Editing: DANIELA RIFAI Photos: DANIELA RIFAI & MARTIN JESNY